Another brilliant quote from todays edition of the local rag:

"Yeah we have had sex on the bench before, and I've n***ed him off as well but what's the issue? It was dark and we were in the mood and it didn't do anyone any harm," she said.

· Web · 4 · 0 · 1

@lychee True. But I've never heard the term 'noshed off' before - so I feel that I've learned something.

@jamie Haha. First time I heard it I was 15 and a fellow student announced to the classroom that "Katherine noshed off a 30 year old man at a party this weekend". 😆

@jamie @lychee I had no idea what that word was until you said this 😂

@jakecowton I really feel like I've educated the fediverse this morning. You are all welcome. @lychee

@jamie This merits the link for full enjoyment.

PS. What does 'n***ed him off' mean ? Nutted him off ? Nobbed him off. Nosied him off ?

@lychee @jamie I have never. ever heard that term ever before. Not had a blowjob for a while some to think of it. Wonder if the wife fancies a trip to Sainsbury for some pre-Xmas shopping.

@andyc @lychee Neither me or the wife had heard it before. I reckon she's an out of towner. The Yorkshire equivalent would be something like 'gobbled'.

@jamie @lychee Yeah - I've heard of 'gobbled'.

Problem with the other term is when the wife says 'Just popping out for some nosh, love'.

@andyc @jamie That article is so good.

"We're nice people and all people need to do is just come up to us and say hello if they've got a problem. We don't bite."

I could come and say hello but she won't reply - not when she's got a mouthful.

Meanwhile, her boyfriend confirms she doesn't bite... just sucks him off.

@lychee 'I'm not really a drinker, I prefer smack'.

*pictured drinking a can of special brew*


Was that also the "Asda" woman? Was that why she was banned for three years?

@jamie Lurve the photo captioned 'The offending bench'.

I certainly wouldn't sit down there to enjoy my Chicken Caesar wrap.

@lychee @jamie No although I suppose it is 6 inches long with a wide girth 🙂

@andyc I used to live around there about ten years ago. It was a nice back then. You could get a blowjob on the bench without the local rag reporting on it anyway.

Sign in to participate in the conversation

One day I’ll write something interesting here. That day is not today.