Father-in-law bought me one of these for Christmas. I think as a joke, but actually very useful as Iโ€™ve unblocked my bath with it.

Here's a screenshot of an email that I sent to the secretary of my local Labour Party back in 2016.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that I was right.

Chilly this morning, but that means other people stay indoors, which is where I prefer them to be.

Last one, from what has been a treasure trove of choice headlines from the local rag today:

"Someone has drawn a giant smiling penis on Hull's tallest landmark"

Oh, wow. Another gem:

"Woman cheats on husband with 3 married men after dyeing hair bright blue"

From the local rag this morning, on an article about charges for adults to get in to a play centre:

She said: "Why is there a ยฃ2 charge? What on earth am I paying for? Do I get tea and biscuits? What is the ยฃ2 actually for? Is it for charity?

"I am not a tight arse by any means, but I want to know what Iโ€™m getting for ยฃ2"

Just pay the ยฃ2, Mandy.

Email from my car insurance company today, with the subject โ€˜We've got a great price on your renewal!โ€™

Fucking arseholes.

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One day Iโ€™ll write something interesting here. That day is not today.